


Old Wounds

by Reeny_Chan



Series: One Last Road Trip - a She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Series [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, F/F, Humor, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Minor Kyle/Rogelio (She-Ra), Multi, POV Catra (She-Ra), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reeny_Chan/pseuds/Reeny_Chan
Summary: Catra, former Horde Force Captain, has settled into a post-war life of helping the kingdoms of Etheria clean up and rebuild from the chaos inflicted upon them by the Horde. She, with the help of the love of her life Adora, is learning to heal from all the trauma that was inflicted upon her, and which she had inflicted upon others.A chance meeting at a construction site gives her the opportunity to, she hopes, mend fences with three childhood friends whom she had once driven away in her anger and her self-destruction.  But can you really mend a fence if it doesn't want to be mended?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Kyle/Lonnie/Rogelio (She-Ra)
Series: One Last Road Trip - a She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029408
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	Old Wounds

“Hey Adora…”

Adora spun around to see Catra, staring at her, grinning and baring her fangs.

“Catra,” Adora growled.

“Nice castle you’re building there,” Catra said, gesturing to the new building taking shape behind Adora. “Be a shame if something were to happen to it.”

Adora grabbed the bracer on her left arm, and it immediately morphed into her Sword of Power. She held it at the ready, the point toward her old, former, friend. “What do you want here, Catra? The Horde is long gone. We’re rebuilding.”

Catra scoffed. “You mean you’re making that thing _intentionally_? Really, we’d be doing you a favor by knocking it down.”

As she said that, four figures stepped out from behind Catra and into view. Frosta, Bow, Entrapta, and Queen Angella, all with glowing yellow eyes.

“Dammit,” Adora said. She raised her sword. “For the Honor of Grayskull!”

Nothing happened.

Not _again_.

“For the Honor of Grayskull!”

“No, wrong!” Catra said.

“Ugh, fine. For the Honor of...gray whales…”

There was no transformation, just a flash of light and she was just suddenly She-Ra. At least she thought she was. She didn’t feel any different.

Yellow-eyed Angella was already upon her and snatched the sword out of her hand. “I’ll take that, thank you!” she said, and then flew away, disappearing into a portal.

“Crap,” Adora said, as the other three surrounded her. “Bow, really?”

“For Tiny Bow,” yellow-eyed Bow said as he nocked an arrow and pointed it at her. He fired, but Adora managed to catch it in flight. Its tip then exploded into a purple goo, and Adora realized the arrow was now stuck to her hand.

While Adora was distracted by that, Catra leaped onto her shoulders. Adora tried waving at her to shake her off, as best she could with an arrow glued in one hand, but Catra had clamped her toe claws hard into Adora’s She-Ra pauldrons.

“Catra, quit it!” Adora shouted. 

“Nope,” Catra said, curling up and planting a wet kiss on Adora’s forehead.

And then it was dark. Adora took in a deep breath and let it out.

It didn’t take long for her to remember where she was. Lying on a cot in a tent. A tent in the Kingdom of Albara. A tent in the work site where they were rebuilding the Princess’s castle. It was where she’d been for the last week. Lying with her, as always, was Catra, breathing softly, her furry form rising and falling slowly in the dim moonlight that filtered in through the seams in the tent.

They’d been there for a week, helping with the cleanup and salvage of the dozens of Horde fighters and robots that had descended upon the kingdom, razed its castle to the ground, and attempted to enslave its populace.

Now that she’d finally managed to remind herself where she was and what she was doing, Adora felt like she could finally have some coherent reflection on what she’d just experienced.

_Another weird dream_ , she thought. She’d had a bunch of those lately. Not like she hadn’t had weird dreams before. These last months of her life had been the definition of weird, at least compared to her regimented, routine life as a Horde soldier-in-training. These last couple days, though, had really taken the cake when it came to strange dreams.

As she thought about it, they seemed to have started when she’d started eating that weird cheese that Princess Tanshia had given them. A few days ago, She-Ra had managed to uncover, intact, one of Albara’s (apparently) famous cheese cellars. She hadn’t known until that point that, aside from being a major food producer for Etheria, Albara was renowned for their cheeses. Uncovering that cellar, with the contents still intact, was apparently a big deal. A Horde fighter had crashed into the entrance and they’d feared it had destroyed a decade of work.

The smell was crazy bad, but the taste was actually pleasant. But it was an interesting coincidence that her dreams had gotten so strange after she’d started snacking on it.

_Never really got the hang of dairy_ , she thought, as her stomach rumbled. It wasn’t the hungry type of rumbling either.

As gently but as quickly as she could, she extricated herself from Catra’s arms, legs, and tail as she rolled her way out of the cot. Walking on tiptoes, she slid out of the tent and into the warm, moonlit night. Thankfully there was a latrine not far from her and Catra’s tent.

After she’d finished taking care of her business, she returned to the tent, trying to be as silent as possible. Just as she started to lower herself back onto the cot, Catra murmured, “Y’okay?”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “Sorry to wake you up.”

“S’ok,” Catra said. “I was already kinda awake. That cheese…”

“Oh, Did it mess you up too? I thought you weren’t gonna eat any of it,” Adora laid back down and allowed Catra to draw her back in.

“Didn’t. It keeps waking me up because it makes your farts smell weird.”

Adora burst out laughing. “S-sorry!” she said.

“Ssh, I’m trying to go back to sleep. And, like, so are a hundred people around us.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” She managed to get control of her giggles, culminating with a large, long sigh. She kissed Catra on the forehead, eliciting a purr from her lover. “G‘night, love.”

“G’night, idiot.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adora hadn’t made it all the way back to sleep the rest of that night. Time just seemed to pass in fits and starts. It was just as well. She’d had her fill of the strange cheese-dreams.

Once she decided it was close enough to dawn she once again extracted herself from Catra and gently got up, snatching her toiletry bag and the fresh outfit she’d set out the evening before. As she exited the tent and made her way toward the showers, she greeted the various personnel she came across on the way. Some greeted her as “Adora”, but many still called her “She-Ra”. It had been a week since she and Catra had arrived here, but there were still quite a few folks who seemed starstruck by her. She’d done her best to disarm them, to show them that she was just another person here to work...who just happened to be able to turn into a super-strong eight-foot woman with magical superpowers.

In the end, she’d just decided to roll with it. Just as she had at every other work site they’d visited since the end of the war. For the most part, as long as it didn’t get in the way of getting the job done, it didn’t bother her. Even though Catra just _loved_ to tease her about it. At least once a week she’d arrive at whatever tent or room they shared to Catra playing the startled fan girl, fawning over her to dramatic, and incredibly ridiculous, effect.

Adora usually managed to get Catra to forget the little game by grabbing her and kissing her deeply, though Catra did occasionally break the mood by mockingly boasting, “I can’t believe I’m actually making out with She-Ra!”

It was a damn good thing for Catra that Adora loved her so much, or it might really get on her nerves.

After her shower, she swung by the mess tent, checking the breakfast of the day (more of the surplus eggs and beet sausages the nearby town had shipped over), enjoyed the aroma of the brewing coffee, and then headed back to her own tent to check on Catra.

Catra, as per usual, was awake and in a state of partial undress as she sat on the cot, grooming herself. “Morning,” Adora said.

“Hey Adora,” Catra said. “Feel better?”

“Yeah, I’m _so_ done with that cheese.” She returned her toiletry bag to its normal location and tossed her towel and bedclothes into the sanitizer. “I’ll try to let Princess Tanshia down gently on that. Too bad, she seemed so proud of it.”

“Just wrap the rest up and send it back to Bright Moon. Give it to Sparkles. Let’s see if _her_ farts wake up Bow in the middle of the night.”

Adora, who had been tying up her hair, laughed, snorted, and lost grip on her hair as she doubled over. 

Catra found herself staring at Adora as she tried to regain her composure. It really felt nice to see Adora being able to unwind. Sometimes she worried Adora was taking on too much, being She-Ra and all. She knew there was still a lot to do all over the world, a lot of places still recovering from the war, but Adora seemed to feel like it was her personal responsibility to do all the heavy lifting. Granted, most of the kingdoms didn’t have much in the way of heavy equipment and most of the equipment the Horde had built was destroyed in the war, or by the plant life that had absorbed it after the Failsafe, but Catra was sure that Adora wasn’t the only being in the world who could manage these things.

She’d actually, behind Adora’s back, been trying to figure out a way they could have a getaway, just the two of them, to help them both unwind and spend some real time together. Time where they didn’t have to do anything for anyone, and could just do what they wanted for a change. 

Her reasons were at least a little selfish, though. Catra had been spending a lot of time and effort on herself, trying to make herself a better person, and she wanted to have time to _really_ show it to her. To show her that all those mid-day calls with the therapist from Mystacor were really worth the time.

Of course, the fact that Catra was one of the least popular people on the planet seemed to be a hindrance to all those efforts. She’d been allowing her hair to grow out these past months, finding herself missing the wild, unkempt mane she once wore, but she wondered if she could do something different to it to make herself seem less threatening. Maybe a ponytail or something.

_It’s not your_ hair _that pisses them off, dumbass_ , she thought. Then she stopped herself. _No, I’m not a dumbass_. Sometimes it was hard to remember that she needed to treat herself with respect. It was one of the things her therapist kept reminding her of.

She finally noticed that Adora was staring at her. “What?”

“Oh, nothing, just, you know...looking.”

Catra resisted the urge to throw her crumpled-up bra at her, instead just accepting the admiration and turning back to her grooming, feeling her cheeks grow warm. “You’re trying to make me embarrassed, aren’t you?”

“It always works, doesn’t it?”

“I like to let you think it does.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breakfast, for the third day in a row, was scrambled eggs, sausage with beets mixed in, and fresh local fruits. While she could tolerate the taste, Catra had decided that, if she never saw another beet in her lifetime, she could die a happy woman.

After their morning ritual of teasing, embracing, and (usually) making out for a bit, they’d settled down in the mess tent for their morning meal. Catra took a second mouthful of the sausage, glad to finally have access to fresh meat again after those few weeks they’d spent in Plumeria. How one could spend their whole life eating just fruits and vegetables, she really didn’t know. Then again, it might explain how skinny everyone there seemed. _Not my thing_ , Catra thought, glad for the sausage but not particularly liking the sweetish taste that came with it. 

Adora took a good long gulp from her mug. She closed her eyes and sighed. “We really need to buy a bunch of this coffee when we leave. Take it everywhere with us. This is really the best I’ve ever had.”

Catra crinkled her nose at it, before taking another bite of her sausage. “Not sure how you can stand that stuff.”

“Well, it’s kind of an acquired taste. You ever tried it?”

“Heh. Yeah, _once._ Came in with some contraband food one time. I ended up in the hospital wing for a week after, remember?”

Adora was agape. “ _That’s_ what happened? You told me you got in a fight with Octavia!”

“Pff, yeah, I _wish_ that’s what had happened. Something in it didn’t agree with me, they said.” She chuckled. “Shadow Weaver gave me five kinds of hell for that.”

“I bet-“ Adora stopped abruptly, her cup halfway up to her lips. 

Catra took in the last mouthful of sausage from her plate. She’d been chewing the semi-palatable beet sausage for half a minute before she realized Adora had stopped moving. She looked up. “What?”

“I don’t believe it…” She was staring at the entrance to the mess tent. Catra turned around to track her gaze, and her eyes went wide when she saw.

Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle were there, standing just inside the tent. Catra set the fork down on her plate. “Holy crap,” she said.

The trio looked a lot different than she’d remembered them. None were in their Horde uniforms, though that was certainly not surprising. Each had on what looked like some kind of warm weather utility outfit, but they suited them all really well. Even Kyle, whom she noticed had a tan, and his hair, whatever wasn’t covered by the wide-brimmed hat on his head, appeared to have been cropped shorter. Lonnie looked a little bit leaner in the face, and her cornrows were gone, her dark, curly hair a sort of halo surrounding her head in a perfect circle. Rogelio - well he was Rogelio.

The three were scanning the tent, apparently looking for a free place to sit. As Adora and Catra both stood, the trio’s eyes fell on them. The look of recognition, and then of surprise, was palpable in all three of them.

Adora and Catra left their seats and approached them. “Hi you guys!” Adora said. “It’s been so long! How have you been?”

The three didn’t reply, just looked at each other as if deciding as a unit how to respond.

“Guys,” Catra said. “Uh, hi guys.” There was definitely some kind of coldness when they looked back at her. The trio had been inseparable back in their Horde days, when they, Adora and Catra hung out, trained together, slept together, and even made semi-serious future plans together. She also knew that they had abandoned the Horde right before Prime’s invasion. In fact, she knew she was the primary reason; apparently, they’d told this to Scorpia when she and Glimmer had infiltrated the Fright Zone just before Prime’s invasion. 

From the looks in their eyes, it looked like time had not made them any more happy to see her.

She then noticed the pack Rogelio was wearing on his chest. There appeared to be something living there...and she could see chubby limbs and a pointed tail hanging out from it. They were very, very familiar…

“H-hi, Adora. Catra.” Lonnie finally said, the first of the trio to speak. She seemed to be avoiding looking either her or Adora in the eye, though. Rogelio, as usual, was hard to read, but Kyle had very visible disdain to see them.

“It’s so good to see you!” Adora said. “What are you doing here?”

“Speeder broke down when we passed through town,“ Lonnie said. “They said all the best mechanics were out here working on this project.”

“We - didn’t expect _you’d_ be here,” Kyle said, flatly. Catra noticed that his face, which had once been a constant combination of fear and worry, now seemed calm and even perhaps a bit assertive. The perpetual dark lines under his eyes that had once given him a look of put-upon weariness now seemed to give him a look of maturity.

It was a good look on her old friend.

Rogelio grumbled something Catra couldn’t understand. The confusion in her face must have been plainly visible since Kyle added, “We’re not - really here for a visit. Just long enough to fix our speeder.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adora said. “Are you guys hungry though? They’re still serving breakfast.” She gestured to the table where she and Catra had been sitting. “There’s room at our table.”

“Thanks,” Lonnie said, “but...we’d rather be on our own. Could get, you know, a bit crowded if all four of us joined you.” It was then that Rogelio pulled back the sun hood from the harness he was wearing, revealing the small, toddler-like creature whom Adora, and especially Catra, recognized as the odd being who used to always hang around with Hordak. When it wasn’t out spying for him. Nobody had known where it came from or even its name, so they’d just called it “Imp”.

Imp opened his mouth and out came the sound of Hordak’s voice, sharp and angry. _“Catra!”_

The sound made Catra’s fur stand on end, but she just chuckled nervously and looked away. “Anyway, you sure you don’t want to sit with us? We usually-“

“We’re fine, thanks,” Kyle said, in a matter-of-fact manner that was definitely very uncharacteristic to the former Force Captain. The trio, carrying Imp, made their way without another word to an empty table at the far end of the mess tent from Adora and Catra’s seat. After a moment of stunned silence, Adora and Catra returned to their own table.

“Wow,” Adora said. “I can’t believe they’re all still together. They were always inseparable.”

“Yeah,” Catra said. “Even after you left the Horde, too. I kept them together, too. They seemed to work pretty well together.” She chuckled. “Even though they failed their missions a lot of the time. Probably was for the best, I guess.”

“They said their speeder broke down,” Adora said. “Maybe they’ll be here for a while. Maybe we’ll have a chance to catch up.”

“Yeah, catch up,” Catra said, staring at the now-quartet. They were sitting and chatting in hushed tones at the far table, not yet making an effort to get anything to eat or drink. At one point Lonnie glanced over and apparently noticed Catra staring. Catra offered a warm smile, but Lonnie turned, stone-faced, back toward the others.

Catra glanced back at her plate, the purple sausage now gone but the scrambled eggs and fruit chunks still sitting in their separate piles. Her appetite had left her. She took a swallow of her juice and then stood. “I’m - I’m gonna get to work.”

“Oh, okay,” Adora said, starting to stand.

“No, you stay,” Catra said. “It’s okay, I’m just...not really hungry anymore. Have my eggs if you want them.”

Adora reached over and took Catra’s hand. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Catra said. Then, looking away, “no, not really. I’m going to take a walk. Think for a bit.” She turned back to Adora with a warm smile. “I’ll catch up with you later at the work site.”

Adora nodded. “Okay.” She allowed her hand to slide off Catra’s. “I’ll be around when you’re ready to talk. If you _wanna_ talk.”

Catra nodded. “I know it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She hadn’t actually done much walking after leaving the mess tent. She wandered a bit but then found herself a nice high perch on top of one of the watchtowers. Crouching there, she found herself gazing out at the vast fields around them. All sorts of foodstuffs and other plant life being raised here. Despite having grown up in the heavily-industrialized, heavily-polluted, and in-perpetual-twilight Fright Zone, with that all she had known for most of her life, she found this view to be comforting.

The morning was far from silent. The sounds of various animals, some of them quite foreign to her, wandering the prairies could just be heard over the hammering and the grinding at the nearby palace construction site. The Palace of Plenty, all but leveled in the latter days of Prime’s invasion, was coming along quite nicely. Catra hadn’t had much opportunity to visit it; they had a strict policy on personal protection equipment there, and Catra was fond neither of having to wear safety-toe boots, nor of trying to cram any sort of hearing protection into her ears.

Instead, she and Adora had been spending the bulk of the week moving, dismantling, and cleaning up the mess of dead Prime ships and robots, breaking them down into parts that they could certify were well and truly inert before handing them over to the Albarans for salvage. The kingdom had several technical experts, including Ras, the Salvage Coordinator, who had already managed to adapt and convert the highly technically-advanced parts to repair and improve their own machinery. Despite his rather off-putting personality, she believed Ras, Entrapta, and Bow would get along quite well. 

She glanced at the time on her wristband and sighed. _Time to quit thinking and start doing adult stuff,_ she thought. She dropped from the watchtower roof, snagging a couple handholds on her way down, finally dropping to the ground. 

She’d surprised a man who happened to be walking by where she landed. She’d seen his face at some point, she was sure, but had no idea who he was. “M-morning, Ms. Catra,” he said.

“Hey there...um, guy whose name I don’t know. Seen Ras anywhere?”

“Um, yeah, he’s at Site Seven.”

“Thanks.” She scanned around, hands to her hips. “Umm…”

“That way,” the man said as he pointed toward a grove of trees in the distance. “And...it’s Senni, by the way.”

“Right, thanks.” Catra started jogging toward the grove, but then stopped. Something her therapist had said popped into her head: “ _Sometimes the littlest things you do for a stranger can make their day that much better.”_ She glanced back. “Thanks Senni!” And then she continued jogging, a smile crawling across her face.

Sure enough as she reached the grove she saw Ras near the tree line, standing at a desk, taking notes on a tablet as he pored over what looked like a holographic diagram of the area. “Hey Ras,” she said. 

“Catra,” Ras said, not looking away from the diagram. “Late. She-Ra’s already started.”

She heard a shifting and screeching of metal from not too far away, and caught sight of Adora, in her She-Ra mode, lifting a Horde fighter over her head. “I can tell.”

Her ears twitched. She heard footsteps approaching in the gravel. She looked over to see Kyle and Rogelio approaching. Kyle was staring, almost intently, at Ras, while Rogelio remained hard to read, as he had earlier that morning. She noticed Rogelio was not wearing the harness.

“Hi,” Kyle said. “The, um - someone said you’d be able to tell us where we can get the parts we need for our speeder.” 

“Do I look like a parts store to you?” Ras said, not looking at them. Kyle grumbled, and Ras sighed. “What do you need?”

“Um, we need a fifty millimeter throttle body, a linkage bushing…” Rogelio growled something, and Kyle nodded. “A dual-port ambient compressor, mass airflow sensor…”

Rogelio gave a brief yip and Kyle turned to him. Rogelio muttered a brief phrase. “Really?” Kyle said. Rogelio grunted a reply, and Kyle said, “Yeah, good point. And a spare focuser, if you’ve got one.”

Ras whistled. “Tall order there.” 

“They said you’re really good at improvising using salvage.” Kyle reached across his chest and rubbed his arm. “If you can just get us stuff to get us on our way, that works too. We’ll pay, of course.”

“No they won’t,” Catra broke in. “Whatever they need, just put it on Adora’s and my tab.” She turned to Kyle. “Least we can do.” She offered a small smile.

Kyle scowled, but did not return her gaze.

Ras sighed. “Fine. I’ll mock some stuff up for you in a bit when I’m not busy.” He finally looked up from the hologram to Kyle. “A friend of She-Ra’s is a friend of ours.”

Kyle’s mouth twitched, but his face remained stony. He grunted a “Thank you” and started away at a brisk pace. Rogelio stayed back, glancing at Catra and lingering there for a moment.

She was about to speak when Rogelio turned and jogged to catch up with Kyle. Rogelio said something to Kyle, and Catra adjusted her ears to try to hear the conversation. Kyle said to Rogelio, “No, I - Not right now. Maybe later. I just - I don’t want to even think about them right now.” Rogelio’s response sounded disappointed, or maybe just sympathetic, but he placed a hand on Kyle’s shoulder as they continued on wordlessly.

Catra stood there gazing at them, a knot in the pit of her stomach. She reflected on how she had treated them, remembering the things she’d said, the times she’d been too callous to care what they were trying to tell her. Her ears drooped and her gaze fell away from them.

“Need some help with pick-and-pull.” Catra’s attention was drawn back to Ras. “Assuming you still want to work today.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder toward a growing pile of wrecked fighters.

“Y-yeah,” Catra said. She started heading toward the boneyard. “Yeah, on it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Catra spent the next few hours, various tools in hand, sitting on her knees and removing various engine components from the fighter wreckage that Adora had been spending all morning carrying over. She’d actually gotten decently good at this kind of thing. Before, her method of dismantling machinery was via her claws and strength, tearing things apart with little regard for what they were, or whether or not they could be reassembled later. This way, thanks to some semi-patient coaching from Bow, she’d gotten halfway decent at using a spanner to unscrew a linkage instead of tearing it from its socket. Using nippers to cut a wire instead of just tearing it from the terminal block.

_Who’d have thought? Force Captain Catra the grease monkey_. It did have its own kind of peacefulness to it. Taking something apart so it could be used again. Finding the good parts in what was otherwise a worthless hulk. It kind of felt like a metaphor for her own mind.

Of course, she wouldn’t dare tell Adora that observation. _“You’re not worthless. You’re not a wreck. You’re not something to salvage,”_ is what she’d say. But, in a way, Catra _was_ those things. A wreck made by abuse at Shadow Weaver’s hands. Made to feel worthless whenever she failed to meet the expectations of Shadow Weaver or Hordak. A wreck of her own making as, in her pain, she destroyed everything that could connect her to her humanity and just further isolated herself.

She glanced in the bin of parts she’d stripped from this particular engine. She had no idea what any of them were or what they did. She had no idea if any of them were usable. But she’d managed to remove them intact, and get them ready for the people who would know those things. And that was enough for her.

“Hey.”

She glanced up to see Adora, still in She-Ra mode, gazing down at her. “Hey.”

“Having fun?”

“Loads.” Catra smirked. 

Adora was absolutely beautiful, literally and figuratively glowing. She knelt down in the dirt with Catra, Catra observing that no matter how messy the work site was, She-Ra would always remain the purest white. Catra, on the other hand, was covered at least up to her shoulders in mud, grease, and grit.

“It’s lunchtime. You hungry?”

Catra shrugged. “Eh, I guess I could eat.” She tossed the spanner she was holding into the toolbag and got to her feet. Adora stood as well, and allowed her She-Ra form to dissolve back into her normal, only-slightly-taller-than-Catra form. To Catra, she was even more beautiful that way than she was as She-Ra. She was sure not too many folks thought the same, but she didn’t much care what they thought. Not about her Adora, anyway.

She grabbed a rag from the ground and started wiping the worst of the mess from her hands. As they started heading toward the main camp, Catra sighed. “Ran into Kyle and Rogelio earlier.”

“Really?”

“Well, ran into isn’t the right thing. They happened to ask Ras for speeder parts while I was talking to him.”

“Wow. How did that go?”

Catra sighed. “It didn’t. Kyle wouldn’t even look at me. Rogelio - I don’t know, he seemed like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. I even told them we’d pay for the parts for them.” She gave a chortle. “That seemed to piss them off more.”

Adora nodded. “Sounds familiar. I seem to remember someone else who was too pissed off to accept help from anyone.”

“Gee, I wonder who that was?” Catra chuckled. “Adora, I - I really want to try to make things right with them.”

Adora took her hand, squeezing and caressing it despite the grease still caking it. “I know. But you gotta let them come to it in their own time, you know? They have to want you to. Something I had to learn the hard way.”

“Yeah.” It didn’t take long for them to reach the sanitizing station by the mess tent, and the two women washed the remaining yuck off their hands and arms. As she washed, Catra looked around. There was a new tent, she noticed, that was mostly roof and with opened walls. It stood over top of a speeder, but what really caught her attention was Kyle and Rogelio, both elbow deep in an open panel. Lonnie was in the driver’s seat, studying what appeared to be some kind of map.

Outside, at the top of the tent, was perched Imp. He was staring directly at Catra, his glowing yellow eyes an unpleasant reminder of far less happy times.

“Let them come in their own time,” Adora said, tugging on Catra’s arm. “When they’re ready.”

“Yeah,” Catra said. She followed Adora to the mess tent, glancing over one more time at the tent where the trio were working. Imp was still staring at her, his bat like wings out and flapping gently in the breeze, but he made no sound nor any apparent desire to move toward her.

She slipped into the mess tent, that being what finally broke her eye contact with the tiny creature.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day brought more component removals, as Adora carried more of the wrecked fighters to the makeshift salvage yard. Catra found herself astounded at how many fighters Prime had apparently sent to just this one kingdom. Was he intent on somehow destroying this land? Disrupting the food supply? Without Albara’s food surpluses, Kingdoms like the wintry Snows and the arid, mountainous Dryl would be hurting badly.

She well knew that Prime lacked in both subtlety and in restraint.

Catra loaded her day’s work - five full bins of Horde engine parts, onto a flatbed cart. Not a bad haul, if she said so herself. It would be nice to know that at least some of these things would be going into things like farming machinery, water purification, and other machines that would actually help people.

She felt good about the work she was doing.

“Ready for some dinner?” Adora said as she approached, rubbing one shoulder and tilting her head to pop her neck. 

“Oh you know it!” Catra said. “Hope they’ve got more of that stewed beef. I could live off that the rest of my life.”

Adora smiled. “And here I thought you were a lifelong fan of ration bars.”

Catra stuck her tongue out. “You couldn’t pay me to eat those things anymore.” The women laughed together as they headed together back to the main camp. The late fall sun had already taken to its resting place on the horizon, bathing the land in an orange hue. She slipped her hand around Adora’s waist as they walked, Adora returning the loving gesture. “Y’know…” she trailed off.

“Not ‘till you tell me,” Adora quipped.

“Smartass,” Catra said. “I was just thinking, you know? This isn’t really that bad a place. Maybe after the reconstruction is done...I was thinking this might be a nice place to go. To be. You know, long-term.”

“Live here, you mean?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Catra said. “I mean, it’s noisy with all the construction and all that, but this seems like it’d be a really peaceful place. It’s beautiful here. Not a bad place to...you know...make a life.”

Adora’s gait slowed a little, and Catra adjusted hers to match. “You don’t wanna live in Bright Moon?”

“Well, I’m just thinking,” Catra said. “Back when we were younger, we talked about the places we could see. Y’know, when we were finally running things.” She chuckled. “I guess I’m just being stupid.”

“You’re not,” Adora said, kissing her behind the ear. “Actually...I kinda agree with you. I don’t think this’d be a bad place to live. At least some of the time, anyway. Maybe a summer home or something.”

“Or a fall home,” Catra said. “Warm as it is now, summer’s probably way too hot for someone with fur.”

They laughed together, and continued the short trek to the main camp without speaking. Words weren’t always needed. Oftentimes, they could express their feelings through touch alone.

At the sanitation station, as Catra removed the afternoon’s grime, she heard a flapping and a light _thump_ above her. She looked up to see Imp perched overhead. He stared intently down at Catra.

Catra and Adora glanced at each other, and then back up at Imp. After staring at Catra for a long moment, Imp finally opened his mouth, and Catra immediately recognized the voices that came out:

_Kyle: “Catra tried to talk to us again this morning.”_

_Rogelio: A guttural grunt._

_Lonnie: “Jeez.”_

_Kyle: “I don’t wanna talk to her.”_

_Lonnie: “I don’t really either.”_

_Rogelio: A series of growls and trills._

_Lonnie: “Yeah, she’s trying. So what?”_

_Rogelio: More trills and some clicks._

_Lonnie: “Not gonna fix the way she treated us. She was a bitch before, and she’s always gonna be a bitch.”_

_Kyle: “She gave me more crap than either of you combined. I’m still pissed. I’m gonna be for a long time. To hell with her.”_

_Rogelio: A whine._

_Kyle: “I’m fine, really. We’ve got each other. We don’t need either of them.”_

_Rogelio: Another whine, and a long series of growls and grunts._

_Lonnie: A heavy sigh. “Why you always gotta be the smart one?” Another sigh. “Fine. I’ll...I’ll find a good time to talk to her. Kyle, you don’t have to if you don’t want. I won’t blame you.”_

_Kyle: A sigh. “Thanks.”_

Imp closed his mouth. Catra stood there for a full minute, blinking, barely noticing the small crowd that had amassed to listen to Imp’s recounting of the conversation. When she finally looked back down toward Adora, she realized that her eyes had teared up. “Adora…”

Adora took her hand, and Catra leaned forward into her. Her arms hung limp at her sides as Adora gently wrapped her own around her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Catra chuckled, surprising even herself. “Catra?” Adora said.

Catra pulled away from her. “A bitch. Heh, yeah, that about sums me up. Maybe...m-maybe...I could own up to it. I should own up to it. To the bad things I did. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”

Imp leaped from his perch atop the sanitation station, hovered over their heads until he got both Adora and Catra’s attention, and then flew over to the mess tent. He landed on the roof just above the entrance flap.

Catra nodded. “I should go talk to them.” She started toward the tent, but Adora held her hand tightly.

“Wait - are you sure?”

Catra wiped tears away with her free hand. “Yeah, I - yeah, I gotta do this.”

Adora paused a moment before replying. “I’ll be there with you.”

Catra smiled, a sad smile. “Thanks.”

They entered the mess tent together, and sure enough, Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio were sitting at a table at the far end. They were tucked into their meals, and didn’t seem to notice the women’s entrance. As Catra made her way over, Adora in tow, Kyle finally looked up. Rogelio and Lonnie looked up as well. Kyle’s mouth pressed into a thin line, but Catra did not let that deter her.

“H-hey, guys,” she said. “Um...I kinda - got word you wanted to talk to me.”

Imp flew past her, settling on Rogelio’s shoulder. He opened his mouth and, in Lonnie’s voice, the word _“Catra”_ came out.

Lonnie sighed and put her fork down. “Dammit Imp,” she muttered. “Yeah,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I guess I did kinda say I wanted to talk.”

Catra said, “Look, before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you that...I was a bad person. Really bad. Okay,” she corrected, “not a bad _person_ , because that’s not what I’m supposed to think. But a bad friend. And a bad commanding officer. And just...just overall awful. To all of you. To...everyone really. But I-“

“Catra,” Lonnie started.

“-I’m trying to be better,” Catra continued, as if Lonnie hadn’t tried to interrupt. “And I want to be better. And I want to do better. And I really...I really want to try for us to be friends again.”

Nothing else was spoken. Catra let her words hang in the air while she let out the rest of the lungful of air she’d been holding onto.

“Ya done?” Lonnie said.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

Rogelio grumbled something. They looked at him a long moment, then each other. Kyle tossed his flatware onto his half-eaten dinner and got up to leave. 

“So,” Lonnie said, gesturing for Kyle to wait, “I guess Imp told you we wanted to talk. But not right now. It’s late, and we’re tired. We just got the speeder fixed, and we’re gonna be moving on tomorrow.

“Yeah, I guess we can talk. But not right now. We’ll be here for breakfast in the morning, and then we’re moving on. We’re a family now, and we’ve got our own lives. We’re not gonna stick around just to get hurt again. But...we agreed we were gonna give you a chance. You gotta give us some space, though. Okay?”

Catra gave a smile, inadvertently exposing one of her fangs. “Okay, yeah. I can do that. Thank you.”

They stood that way for a long moment. “Like _now_ , please?” Lonnie said.

“Oh, oh, right,” Catra said. “Yeah, sure. I’m...sorry I interrupted your dinner. Talk in the morning, yeah?” She turned to leave, Adora behind her. Adora seemed to be a little sad, a little hopeful. It was hard for Catra to tell, as her mind felt very jumbled at the moment.

As she and Adora made their way to the food trays, Catra kept glancing back at the trio. Adora had to nudge her when it was her turn at the vegetable station and she’d failed to notice the server was waiting on her.

Dinner was difficult for her. Adora had insisted that Catra sit with her back to the trio, and did all she could to keep Catra from glancing back at them. Catra felt hungry, but actually eating was difficult. A dozen things raced through her mind, a dozen ways the next morning’s conversation could go. Even as the evening meal ended and the two women got up to leave, Catra finally ventured a glance back. The trio was still there. Silent, not eating or chatting. Just sitting.

She’d have given so much just to know what they were thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a fitful night of sleep for Catra. She kept waking up, after having so many various dreams playing out the many ways the eventual conversation could go. She dreamt of shouting matches, she dreamt of fistfights, she dreamt of group hugs.

It was driving her positively _mad_.

Adora slept through most of it, but woke when she heard Catra up and pacing around their tent. She almost literally ordered Catra back to bed at that point. Catra obliged, if only to sate Adora, but as much as she hated to think it, Adora’s warm embrace just wasn’t enough in this moment. She really, _really_ needed to make things right with her friends. She felt like, if she didn’t do it soon, she’d never be able to do it again.

When morning finally came, and the light of dawn peeked through the folds of the tent, Catra awakened the final time. She immediately hopped out of the cot, threw on her clothes, not bothering with any sort of grooming, and rushed outside before Adora could even fully awaken from her own slumber.

She sprinted to the mess tent and burst inside. It was empty, except for the servers performing their daily prep routine. _Of course_ , she thought, _too early for breakfast._

She exited the tent, remembering the small garage-like tent where the trio had been working on their speeder. She jogged over to where it had stood, but found the tent to have been dismantled and its parts lying flat on the ground.

“What?” she said. She looked around, noticing Ras, in a robe and carrying a small bag, heading toward the showers. 

“Hey!” she said. “Ras!”

Ras stopped and looked at her. One eyebrow was raised.

“Speeder. The guys with the speeder. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio. You know where they are?”

Ras shrugged. “Left last night. Said they had a long trip.”

Catra’s heart sank. “T-they...they left?” Ras stared back in what Catra knew was his version of a nod yes. “Did they...say anything else? Leave something? Like a note?”

“Gave me some credits for the parts. That’s it.” Apparently satisfied that he’d answered her questions, Ras continued toward the showers.

Catra just stood there for a full minute. _They left. They left me. They were gonna talk with me and they left me._

She felt numb. Her legs felt rubbery. Slowly she turned around and started walking, unsteadily, toward her and Adora’s tent.

Adora emerged from the tent not long after, holding her clothes and toiletry bag. When she saw Catra, she dropped everything and ran to her. “Catra? Hon?”

Catra turned her eyes to Adora, but she couldn’t focus on her face. “They left.”

“They - they left?”

“They left.”

“What did they say?”

“Nothing. They just left. In the night.”

Adora led her back to their tent. Once inside, Catra’s legs finally gave out and she collapsed to the ground. Adora went down with her, helping to protect her from striking the ground, and also catching Catra’s head which tilted limply into the crook of Adora’s arm.

“They left me,” Catra said. “They left me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Adora said. “Was there anything-?”

“They left me,” Catra said again. “I...I had a chance to make it better and they left me.”

Adora slid her hand down Catra’s arm and held her hand. The fur on Catra’s arm bristled. They sat like that for a long moment.

“I’m...I’m so sorry,” Adora said.

“I was too pushy,” Catra said. “I was too pushy and I pushed them away. Like I push everyone away.”

Adora held her more tightly, but Catra was only dimly aware of it.

“I really am a monster.”

“No, no you’re not,” Adora said, firmly, She nuzzled the crook of Catra’s shoulder and her neck. “You’re a wonderful person. You’re one of the best people I know. You're strong and you care and you fight for the ones you care about.”

“Why did they leave me?”

“I - I don’t know,” Adora said. “But...that’s on them.” She turned Catra around on the ground so that their eyes could meet. Catra’s were unfocused, still staring out at nothing in particular.

“Everyone leaves me.”

“No,” Adora said. She put a hand to Catra’s cheek and forced her to face her. She brushed an errant hair away from Catra’s forehead and offered a smile, despite the face that Adora’s eyes were filled with tears. “I’m here. I’m always gonna be here. I promise you that.”

Catra blinked a few times, and then finally focused on Adora. She said nothing, though.

“I don’t know why they left,” Adora said. “Maybe they were scared. Maybe they were upset. But that’s on them.” She touched the tip of her finger to Catra’s nose. “You can’t control what other people do, but you can control what _you_ do. Didn’t you tell me that? What your therapist said?”

The Mystacor therapist’s voice, deep but smooth, almost like a sea gently swaying at night, came to Catra’s mind. _“It’s not up to you to make other people change. It’s up to_ _you_ _to make_ yourself _change. You can be the best person you want to be. Other people will do what’s best for them, but you don’t need other people to define who you are. You say you want to be a better person. That means that you_ are _a good person. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but you need to remind yourself. Tell yourself, ‘I am a good person. I am a good person.’ Do it over and over. Teach yourself to think it.”_

“I’m...I’m a good person,” Catra said.

A tear slid down Adora’s cheek. “Yes you are.”

“I’m a good person,” Catra repeated. “I’m a good person.” Adora only watched on as Catra continued repeating it to herself. “I’m a good person. I’m a good person. I’m a good person.”

They sat like that for a while, Catra wasn’t sure how long. The longer they sat, though, the more times Catra repeated the phrase, the better she felt. 

Eventually, she realized she and Adora had been staring at each other, non-stop, for who knows how long. She smiled, and blinked slowly a few times. Adora returned the gesture.

“I...I think I’m okay,” Catra said. She shifted to a sitting position, though her legs were tingly from having been in such an awkward spot for so long.

“I’m glad,” Adora said. Catra leaned forward and they touched foreheads together. 

“I think, though...I think it’s time to leave here,” Catra said. “I know the job’s not done, but...I think I need some time. I...I understand if you need to stay to finish the job.”

“Hey, where you go, I go,” Adora said. “They can do just fine without She-Ra. You’re what matters most to me.”

Catra slid her face along the side of Adora’s, purring. They stayed like that for another minute or two, and Catra finally said, “Thank you.”

“Always, my love.”

_My love_ , Catra thought. That was it. That was what she needed to remember most. No matter who she’d been, no matter what she’d been through or what she’d done, she needed to remember this one thing:

_I am loved._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere:

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 8 MILLION 672 THOUSAND 778 SECONDS//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 8 MILLION 672 THOUSAND 777 SECONDS//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 8 MILLION 672 THOUSAND 776 SECONDS//

//INITIATE LAST RESORT OS V3.67//

//LAST RESORT OS V3.67 INITIATION COMPLETE//

//LAST RESORT OS READY//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 8 MILLION 672 THOUSAND 775 SECONDS//

//LAST RESORT ORDERING SAFETIES OVERRIDDEN//

//SAFETIES OVERRIDDEN SUCCESSFULLY//

//RECALCULATING//

//RECALCULATING//

//RECALCULATING//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 40 THOUSAND 128 SECONDS//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 40 THOUSAND 113 SECONDS//

//ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ACTIVATION T-MINUS 40 THOUSAND 99 SECONDS//

~~TO BE CONTINUED~~


End file.
